Living In A Tent On The Beach Of Sugarloaf Key, 50 Feet From The Ocean...

It may sound idyllic, but when you're living right there with all the tiny sea oriented critters, --- holy, jumping sand fleas!...  Yes, those '"no-see-'ems" bite fiercely!  This is why most vacationers stay in hotels.  But, the Florida keys are beautiful and not tropical, but semi-tropical.  It's a wonderful 55 to 75 degrees in December to February, yet in August the temps are over 100 with high humidity...  WHOA!...  Look out!  The only way I could stand it was to wear a bathing suit all the time and spray myself constantly with a little bottle of cool water!  And, the sun is furious; you WILL wear a hat.  I wore quirky straw one that I became quite attached to.    

Big blue gray crabs scuttle sideways across the beach in the morning; palmetto bugs wander around constantly (sort of a huge beetle, and strictly vegetarian) and jellyfish come up on the beach to die.  (I don't know why....???)  The long, ghostly white, spaghetti-like stingers of jellyfish are just as potent when they're dead as when they're alive, so matter how curious you are: MUSTN'T TOUCH IT!  And, if you are in the shallows and thinking of fun walking on the coral reefs, you DO IT wearing sneakers with thick rubber soles, - no flip-flops!  I knew why the first time I did it.  Moray eels hide in the little spaces and holes in the coral formations, with their mouths of very pointy teeth half open and their beady white eyes, watching, watching, watching, and it seems like they're just waiting to bite you on the ankle!  

Naturally, land animals live on or very near the beach too.  Stray cats and dogs (often well fed), raccoons, armadillos and many, many salamanders and lizards are there.  You can hear them scurrying away as you walk down the paths of sand bordered by tall beach grass, which is very pretty and is called "sea oats".  I learned fast enough to wear my flip-flops almost everywhere because once you walk away from the lapping surf there are these little blackish-green plant things in the ground called "sand spurs" and they are very sharp, ending up sticking in the soles of your bare feet!  

The ground is white everywhere, or very, very pale gray, even away from the beach.  All the rocks are of coral.  A common rock in the Northeast U.S.A. might be brown, brownish gray or gray because it's usually limestone.  But, in the Keys all the rocks are white and if you study them you'll see the tiny holes of typical coral.  (Coral that fishing people sometimes bring up on their hooks is a brilliant red, but when it dries it's white...  Too bad.)  

Shells are very plentiful.  Most of them are of the small white clam variety, or tiny shimmering gray shells called "jingle shells", or of the little cone type, but sometimes you'll find a helmet shell or a big whelk, white-bleached and dry as a bone.  I found a small abalone shell lined with the silvery turquoise and light blue mother of pearl.  I hear that abalone steaks are delicious, but you have to pound them until you think you'll die from exhaustion or they are as tough as shoe leather.  Of course, there are pinkish conchs too; couch chowder is delicious!  (I LOVED shelling!  I was there right after a hurricane and the shell collecting was fabulous!  I felt a little bad about taking so many of them away, but a beach ranger said not to because the shells would only be smashed by grading tractors, anyway.  The shells I gathered were perfect for making necklaces; each one had a little hole in it, made by a borer.)      

There isn't much land in the Florida Keys.  Key dwellers and Floridians know that a lot of land down there was "created".  That is, the sand was dredged up from the ocean bottom and dumped on shore.  Actually, as you drive down the ONE MAIN road of Sugarloaf Key you can see the ocean on each side.  (I don't know what permanent residents do during hurricanes.  The water must REALLY come up.  There are beautiful homes in the Keys, many of them painted tropical pastels, - pink, light turquoise, sunny yellow, creamsicle orange.) 

Live oak trees, THE Florida tree, grow rampantly and so do hibiscus bushes with their shocking pink trumpet-like blooms.  Little shore birds, the sandpipers, several types of them, roam the wavelets.  It's comical to see them rush down to the water when the waves retreat, then scoot back as the waves come back again.  They do it over, and over, and over, and over, --- all day long.  Seagulls are always flying and cawing.  They chase the fishing boats, hoping that passengers will throw them used bait, which they cleverly catch in midair...

Some people do surf fishing, standing on the beach, casting their lines into the waves.  I went deep sea fishing ONLY ONCE!  (I get violently seasick.  So much so that I'm actually still sick for hours AFTER I get back on land.)  While deep sea fishing I was rewarded with a great sight!  A whale surfaced right beside the boat, not six feet from me, as I was standing at the gunnels.  He was 3 times as long as the boat, which was not that small.  His one eye, toward me, was the size of a basketball!  He wasn't really very interested in us.   He slipped back in the ocean, with hardly a splash.  SO COOL!  I'll NEVER forget it.  That whale seemed so gentle. 

Key West is a very, very neat place, very quaint in it's own way.  Of course, there are wonderful bars there and the living is - take it easy.  Key West was a favorite place of author Ernest Hemingway.  I got to go through his house there, to see his writing room with his typewriter and to walk around his fancy swimming pool.  He loved cats and had many of them.  The descendants of his pet cats still live at his house.  A lot of them are polydactle cats, or cats born with extra toes.  All the Hemingway cats at Key West are very, very pampered and have their own maids.  Oh, ME-OW, ME-OW, ME-OW, ME-OW!!!...  =^_^= ,  =^_^= , =^_^= , =^_^= , =^_^= , =^_^= , =^_^= , =^_^= ...   :D 

                  

Re-told Tales: The King Of The Cats...

     This very old British folk tale implies that cats have a secret world that we know nothing about...

     One moonlit night, while going over the moors,, a man see a strange funeral.  A solemn line of cats are walking on their hind legs, carrying a small golden coffin encrusted with jewels.  As he watches the funeral procession passes slowly from his sight.  The man is so enchanted by what he has seen that once he is comfortably back home he pets his magnificent tabby cat, who at first, is snoozing.  He begins to tell him the story, even though he thinks his cat won't understand.

     The cat looks up at him with big, beautiful eyes and when the man finishes the tabby blinks once and once again and jumps to the floor.  He turns and looks lovingly at the person whose home he has shared for years and years.  But, he cries loudly, in perfect English, --- "Now, I AM the King Of The Cats!," and leaps out the window.  The man never sees his cat again.      

Re-told Tales: The Selkie Wife...

     The Irish call them the roane, pronounced "ron".   The Scots call them the selkies.  They are the seal people, and they are among the gentlest residents of Faerie. 

     It is said that:  In the sea they long for the land; on the Land they long for the sea...  So, they are in constant indecision, never satisfied with one or the other.  This is actually a type of curse... 

     One night a Scottish fisherman, Neil Mac Coddrum, came upon an enchanting sight, a group of lovely young women dancing and twirling in the moonlight. He meant to watch them unnoticed, but he stepped on a branch of driftwood; it made a loud snap! 

     Instantly, the women rushed to a pile near them and grabbed up what looked like fur coats. The coats were their seal skins. Swiftly, they rushed down to the waters edge, donned their skins and dived into the waves.

     But, one of the women was not as quick as her sisters. Neil snatched her sealskin from her. Pitifully, she pleaded for her skin so she could join her sisters in the sea, but the fisherman wouldn't return it. 

     He knew from old stories that he had caught a selkie woman and that if he hid her skin from her he could force her to become a good, if wistful and sad wife. So, the selkie maiden was forced to stay with him.

     In time, she bore Neil a son and daughter. They looked like normal humans except they had webs between their fingers and toes. 

     The selkie wife lived for many years with Neil Mac Coddrum, until one day her children came to her with a strange discovery. "Look, Mother, what we have found behind a locked door! It looks a bit like a coat, but it is so soft and warm-feeling!"

     The selkie woman was overjoyed! After so many years, her skin returned to her! Quickly, she told her children the story of the Selkie race, but she said, "Tonight I must leave you."

     That night the she made dinner, as usual, but after her husband had gone to sleep she took her children and her sealskin to the edge of the sea. Tearfully, she hugged them. "I will go now. As you know, I must return to my natural life as a selkie, but I will come to you again. You will hear me singing from the sea for you are half-selkie. Then you will come to me and together we will swim the waves." 

     With that said, the selkie woman donned her sealskin and dived into the water. In the morning Neil searched for his wife and questioned his children. Gravely, they told him, "Our mother has returned to her home in the Sea."

     There was nothing he could do about it. He missed his wife badly, but never saw her again. His children lived with him until they were married for they were as gentle and agreeable as their mother, still they never forgave their father. 

     Being half selkie, they knew how the many years of the loss of the Sea had been to their mother. For the rest of their lives they heard her selkie song calling them to swim the waves, especially on moonlit nights. 

     Their father, of course, could not hear the beautiful sea-song, but he knew when he could not find his son and daughter where they were. His children would come home. They looked so much like their mother. Their soft eyes would burn his heart like a brand. 

      In the coastal areas of Scotland, for generations, there would sometimes be children born with webs between their fingers and toes.

(The stories of the selkies are some of my favorites. If you liked this story you might also like the movie "The Secret Of Roane Innish", and also the short story in the paperback book "Irish Magic" called "Galaway Bay" by Morgan Lewellyn.  I have read in folklore that certain Scottish and Irish families have had children with webs, the Mac Coddrums, of course, being the most well-known for it.) 

Rugged Chiricahua Apache Life In The Old West...

     The Chiricahua Apache lived in the dry, mountainous region of the Southwest,  mostly in southeast Arizona.  They were an extremely tough people.  Their land was a difficult place to find food, one of the harshest parts of the whole country.  And, yet, the Chiricahua survived, and even, thrived.   (At one time in their history great efforts were made to exterminate all Apaches, of course, including the Chiricahua, and bounties were placed on all Apache scalps,---man, woman and child.)

     The tactic of destroying their food sources would not work on the Apache, as it did on the Native Americans of the Plains, who were devastated by the mass slaughter of their buffalo.  The Apache  who were used to the hardship of never having plentiful food or supplies and to whom raiding was a way of life survived in spite of practically all efforts to destroy them.  If they didn't have enough they would get what they needed by taking it.

     Raiding was usually done on foot and at night.  Apaches could sneak in and make off with what they desired before anyone noticed; their stealth was amazing.  The scarcity of food meant that they were a nomadic people, moving around a lot.  But, although they were very tough; there were never that many Apache.

     They were, in general, a very healthy people.  Their isolated territory, nomadic nature and basically unsubmissive attitude protected them from the onslaught of European invaders (Ugh, the explorers and missionaries.) so that the Apache didn't suffer greatly from "white man's diseases": smallpox, measles and cholera.  Venereal disease was unknown among them.

     A rigorous, athletic outdoor life made Apache endurance nothing short of astounding!  An Apache warrior in his prime could cover thirty miles a day on foot.   On horseback, he could go seventy miles in one day!  You can imagine how hard it might have been to catch an Apache.  It was said that only an Apache could catch another Apache. An Apache could live outdoors in freezing temperatures and in conditions that would kill almost anyone else in a matter of days.

     Apache boys were taught to run up hills and down continuously, holding water in their mouths, to train.  And, girls were encouraged to run too.  Both boys and girls were taught be be excellent on horseback, their skill rivaling the Comanche,  who could shoot arrows from a galloping horse bending over, using the horses body as a shield and who could retrieve a fallen comrade at a gallop, reaching down to grab him, of course, without stopping.

     Apaches were taught to swim and enjoyed it very much.  Apache girls, especially, swam a lot because they believed that swimming kept them from developing a lot of body hair, something that was detestible to all Apache.

     Apache women often went to war with their men and were very fierce in battle.  The Chiricahua, clever mountain people that they were, were skilled ambushers, going to the edges of their cliffs and raining obsidian-tipped arrows and big rocks down on their enemies, taunting them too, by waving their breech cloths and slapping their asses... (Sort of reminds me of the defiant Scots in "Braveheart"!)

     *** The Apache nation consisted of quite a few tribes: the Chiricahua, the Lipans, the Mescalero, the Jicarillas, the Mimbrenos, the Mogollones, and the Western Apaches, - the Tontos, the Coyoteros and the Pinalenos.  Of them all, the Chiricahua were considered the most fierce.

Cap'n Teach, --- Blackbeard, --- SIR!!!!!!... :D

Eleuthera Island -- The REAL Bahamas HD

That Beach Is As Pink As A Rose On A Birthday Cake & The Sand Is Almost As Fine As Face Powder!...

The sand is pink because it's blended with red coral.  Isn't that POSITIVELY SUPER!!!  I'd love to dance on it on a balmy evening in the moonlight and pretend I had gossamer faerie wings sprouting from my back!

Well...  If you've got enough moolah, [$$$$$ - $$$$$$ you don't mind spending] you too can twinkle your toes in fine pinky sand and live in a cute little private cottage and ride a horse bareback along surf that rushes gently on blushing Bahaman beaches.  In fact, you can wade out hundreds of yards into it and the warm water will only be up to your waist...

On the long and narrow islands of the Eleuthera chain, 3 islands, there are plenty of pretty pink beaches.  

Famous Harbour Island has a 3 miles stretch of serene loveliness.  There are no high-rise hotels there or luxurious spas.  But, there are cozy little inns, great bakeries and fabulous fishing.  "Sports Illustrated" has shot their swimsuit issues on Harbour Island.  The local people, who call their island "Briland" [rhymes with dry] are basically not impressed with the celebrities that rent and own houses here; among them are --- Martha Stewart and the Duchess Of York, Diane von Furstenberg, Tyra Banks, Nicole Kidman, Brook Shields, Jimmy Buffett, Elle Mac Pherson and Mick Jagger.  You can easily bring your dog to Harbour Island; there's no pet quarantine.  All you need is a pet permit and a small fee [ about $10], plus a health certificate from your vet and your pooch can relax on the beach with you. 

Must be very, very nice...  sigh.  ["...Wasting away in Margaritaville, --- and, drink up those Bahama Mamas!!!...  Giggle.]  :D 

         

Top 10 Wonderful Pink Beaches in the World

Top 10 Unusual Beaches around the World

Masculine Merman in a fountain... WOW!... Did I REALLY say [below] that they were ugly?... :D

Mermaids Don't Have Souls & Pirate Captain Will Burton's Meeting With Kerillia, The Treacherous, Seductive Mermaid Queen...

      Mermen have snouts like pigs and wiggly whiskers like catfish, maybe why mermaids lust for human men.  Memaids are, almost always, very lusty and very dangerous.  (We all were unforgettably educated about this in "P.O.T.C. : On Stranger Tides".)  Mermen are supposed to be kindly.

                     

Merpeople live under the sea in magnificent palaces that are studded with jewels and pearly shells.  On sunny days mermaids like to sit on rocks near the shore and comb their long and lovey hair which is usually wavy and either red or pale blond.  They are much more beautiful than any human woman, but it is a cold beauty.

               

     The merpeople age very slowly until they are mature; then they are immortal.  They are said to be the children of the great Irish sea god, Manannan Mac Lir, who, some think, is the same deity as Neptune.  Manannan is an enormous and fearsome god who brings storms at sea.  His beard and hair are pale silvery green and his eyes are completely white, like big gleaming pearls. The merpeople have the ability to control weather at sea, which might be one reasons why there were so many mermaid figureheads on old ships; sailors are a superstitious lot.

     The merpeople don't have souls...

               

...  Tsk, tsk...  [In spite of the fact that Serena loves Phillip in "P.O.T.C.: On Stranger Tides, above she's sitting on a rock, unconcerned, while that ship in the background burns.

  And, of course, mermaids have the total unpredictability of faeries, really, being of the water fey.  Mermaids can be very vain, jealous and very spiteful.  But, they can see into the future and grant wishes that will always, always come true.  Sometimes, a mermaid will form a bond with a young girl child; the mermaid will be the child's guardian until she grows up.
                 
                       

     Merpeople are known in folklore all over the world. To the Germans they are Lorelei; to the French - Morgens, to the Danes - Maremind, to Icelanders - Marmenill, to the Irish - Merrow.  In Polynesian folklore Vatea, a half porpoise, half human god, was the father of humans and the gods.  In Africa there are legends of a mermaid named Yemaya who has lovely, flowing green hair and shimmering shell jewelry.  Perhaps, she is related to the Hispanic goddess of the sea, Yemanja, or is the same.

     Below is an excerpt from "THE BLEEDING RUBY", the first sequel to "PIRATE HEART".  Pirate captain Will Burton meets secretly with the queen of all the merfolk, Kerillia, The Splendor...

                        

    Kelrillia, the stunningly beautiful high queen of the merpeople,  ran her tongue around her lips as she smiled.  Her teeth were small and had the true iridescence of pearls, each one very pointed.  “Careful your wee choppers dinna cut that pretty pink ribbon,” Will whispered, one corner of his mouth going up.

     He passed her a big goblet of Madiera, wary of Kelrillia’s silvery blue claws which were showing a bit from their sheaths.  “And, here, have some mussels drizzled with lime butter, scallops poached in white wine and this rice cooked in the ink of baby squids.  Mister Clary made these delights special, as I asked him, just for you.”  He winked.  “They be all the most delicious o’ aphrodisiac foods, me gorgeous sea sirena.” 

     Kelrillia pouted her lips.  Then, she swiftly quaffed the wine.  Her kelp green eyes snapped with anger.  She leaned forward like a female moray eel sticking her nose out of her coral nitch, looking as if she was going to bite.  The queen of all the merpeople was very formidable, as big as Will, as big as all her kind.       

     Will moved back a bit.  “Mayhap, a bit o’ this sweet, but also most pleasantly tart blood orange?”  He passed her a crystal dish containing wedges of bright salmon colored fruit.

     “No!  No!  NO!  I don’t want any!”

     “You be most testy tonight, me magnificent queen.”

     “Will, I’ll do my best, but I’m very upset and my uncle Manannan is positively livid!  You know he’s very old fashioned and a stickler for protocol!  Whatever possessed you to throw the leavings of your body, --- ugh, your hair, into the sea?  What a disgrace!”

     “Kelrillia, I swears I dinna know ‘t was a gross insult.”

     “That makes no difference NOW!  DOES IT?”

     “You will use your influence to me behalf?”

     “Humph!  I’ll do my best.”  The long dark green eyes flashed seductively.  She wound a spiral of her vivid red hair around her forefinger.  “You know I never do favors without rich payment.”

     “You have nay changed, your Splendidness.”

      “Don’t be snide, Will!  Be nice or you will pay for more than your mistake!”  Kelrillia raised her arm twirling it rapidly.  Thunder claps sounded over the dark waves and lightning split the night sky.  “And, you can give me back my necklace, you miserable thief!”

     Will’s black eyes were sad and soft.  “I lost it, to me great, great shame.”

     “What?  How dare you be so careless!  That was an heirloom of my family, eons old!”

     Accidents happen all the time, me lovely, even to the most meticulous o’ pirates..”

     Kelrillia scowled and more thunder threatened, followed by fiercely rolling clouds.  She tossed her head.  “There are other necklaces…”

     “Oh?…”

     “Yes, wonderful necklaces, bewitched by my uncle Manannan.”

     “Where are they?”

     Kelrillia smirked.  “Hidden under the sea, where you’ll never find them my handsome, greedy pirate!  Of course, my maids make other pieces of jewelry which we sell to mortals, tinkley necklaces and bracelets of little value, but they are rather pretty and get us coins we can use when we grow legs ashore…”

     More thunder.  Will looked up at the charging dark gray clouds edged with brightness.  “Mayhap, we should go to me cabin rather than sitting here on deck.”

     “No, no, any walls make me uncomfortable.”

     “Aye, I knows...  When I heared the dolphins singing that you wanted to visit me I knew I could nay refuse.”

     Kelrillia crossed her legs, smirking.  “Excellent.  I’m so glad I taught you the dolphin’s language of melody, Will.”

     “The language of the sea turtles been harder to learn.”

     “That ridiculous clicking and clacking!  But, you have a most marvelous gift for tongues, my thrilling and devilishly handsome pirate!”

     Will made a half bow.  “It dinna bothers me to admit you scares me mightily, your Majesty.”

     Kelrillia laughed, full throated and joyously.  “I adore your respect!  Most humans consider mermaids to be only lissome fishy whores!”

     “Verra foolish o’ them.”

      Kelrillia giggled.  “Yes, they find out differently if they have any dealings with us!”

     “The females o’ the merfolk be some o’ the most powerful warrior witches I ever comed across.”

     “What?  You dare to name us witches?”

      “Dinna deny it, me queen; ‘t is nay becoming.”

      Kelrillia flirted her magnificent deep green eyes again.  “I let you get away with more crass speech than I have ever allowed another man!  Now, about my payment, such rare and wonderful payment which only you can give me.  You can easily row us to the sand.  Then, you will walk, carry me through the shallow water.”

     “So you won’t get wet and start that bothersome painful business o’ growing a tail again?”

      Kelrillia ran a finger around the edge of Will’s neck.  Her claws emerged fully their sheaths as she raised her upper lip from her teeth.   “The pink sand is as cool, soft and fine as face powder,” she purred.  It was almost a growl.

      “Nay possible.  We be far from those blushing Bahaman beaches.”

     “If I say the sand is pink it will be so, --- if just for tonight!”  Kelrillia’s eyes snapped dangerously.  Then, she softened. “You are the most singularly spectacular man I’ve ever met, Will!  I remember our nights together as we frolicked, the moonlight touching our bodies so gently, so lovingly!”

      “Unforgettable times, me Splendor, positive unforgettable...”

In The Tavern, The Bucket Of Blood, - From My Novel "PIRATE HEART", - & The Leveling Of Wicked Old Port Royal ...

     You were likely to get knocked on the head and groped for your purse, so you had to watch out!  But...

   It was on June 7, 1792 in the early afternoon that a massive earthquake and resulting tidal waves destroyed that evil city, Port Royal, which was called by one preacher, - "The Sodom of the New World.  (How do we know that it was early afternoon?...  Because a pocket watch was found underwater in the wreckage that had stopped at just that time!)  Earlier in 1692 a comet was sighted by Edward Halley and named after him; it was said to predict the coming of a great disaster; - of Port Royal?  Maybe so, maybe not.  In any case, that fabulous, sophisticated and very wicked Jamaican city built on a natural thirteen mile long sandbar, or sandspit, and with a wonderful deep harbor where even the deepest keeled galleon and galley could be docked, was never the same.  

Today, all that is left off old Port Royal is a very tiny piece.  British forts James and Carlisle were swept underwater; only Fort Charles stood on dry land, and it is still in amazingly good condition.   But, under the shallow turquoise water off shore are the ruins of the great pirating city.  Many fascinating artifacts have been brought up from the sea, things that, basically, where used in everyday life, --- bits of plates, pipe stems, etc.  [See the documentary, below.]   Divers are hoping, hoping, hoping, --- oh, HOPING to find the headstone of Captain Henry Morgan whose grave was rushed out to sea.  (Now, wouldn't THAT be SOMETHING!)  :D 

     Well, over two thousand people were killed outright by the quake and resulting tidal waves.  After that many others died from the terribly unhealthy conditions in the flooded ruins, with stinking, bloated corpses floating everywhere...  There was chaos and mass looting.  Most of the survivors moved to the other side of the harbor and built the town of Kingston.  But, some tried to rebuild Port Royal.  Unfortunately, a hurricane in 1712 destroyed their efforts and another hurricane in 1722 finished them.  In recent years there has been some talk of historically resurrecting Old Port Royal in view in the tourist value of it, but things in Jamaica move by "Jamaica time", and really nothing concrete has been established. 

Below, is an excerpt from my novel "PIRATE HEART", --- heroine Ellie's first impressions of Port Royal in it's wild and lovely prime, in 1690, or about two years before it's destruction: 

    We walked past Morgan’s line, his cannons facing out to sea.  I saw a crowded collection of shacks and little tumble-down wooden houses, but there were also rows of well built two story red brick buildings.  It was all lighted by a silvery full moon and many torches wound with flaming rags stuck in the sand.  Both tall and bushy palms, banana plants, blossoming hibiscus and other tropical foliage grew lushly here and there like vigorous weeds. Will guided me around stinking, fly ridden piles of trash.  Steady on my feet, I didn’t need much support.  I wisely wore an old pair of men’s broggans.  

     The noise was deafening, yammering in many languages, fighting, cursing, screams, yelps of laughter, breaking glass, drunken shouting and singing, fiddle and drum playing, the squeals of pigs, baaing goats, squawking chickens, barking dogs, yowling cats.  There was the heavy smell of cooking in hot fat, rotting fruit, cheap perfume, stale straw, mold and mildew, sweat, piss and shite.  Food eaten with the fingers was being sold in front of the dwellings and liquor in huge barrels stood in carts, ladled to anyone who had the money and many who didn’t.  

     Harlots strolled up and down, puffy breasts out of their bodices, shining thighs showing through skirts ripped to their waists as they teased, giggled and wailed.  Their faces were all googley, the garish paint on them smeared, lips scarlet and cheeks flaming orange, eyes rimmed with messy soot, knotted hair piled high in dirty ribbons or cheap brass clips and straggling out of gaudy turbans.  

     One grabbed Will as we brushed by her.  I could smell the warm reek of her even through her cloying perfume.  “Ahoy, handsome!  She offered him a piece of meat on a stick, dripping with grease.  “Have a bite.”  As she extended it toward him, her back arched, breasts outward.  She smirked, made kissing sounds.  Will smiled indulgently, untangling the whore’s fingers.  We walked on.

     I clung to his bicep trying not to make eye contact with any of the men.  They crowded everywhere, some dressed in rags, some flamboyantly clothed, but they were all leering pirates, some with rings in their ears and gold coin necklaces, some with patches over their eyes, peg legs and crude crutches, striped stocking caps, tricorns and Cavalier’s hats with huge plumes.  I would have been very afraid if Will wasn’t with me.

     His strong hands steered me through the crowds into a tavern called The Bucket Of Blood.  We were halted every few feet as Will was greeted with cheers and affectionate insults, --- “Ho, ho, you jacknapes!  Ooo-weee, ruddy cockerel!   It seizes me with joy to see you, me bravo!  You black-hearted ilk, where the devil you been hiding?”

     At a tiny table in the back sat a small man with a dirty red kerchief around his neck.  His shirt was so full o’ holes it barely covered his fuzzy gray chest.  He jumped up when he saw Will.  “Consarn it, Black Will Burton, I been afeared I’d be nay seeing you again this side o’ hell!”

     “By fire and thunder, Barthy Bottles, you slavering old sea dog!”  

     Will slapped Barthy on his back, almost sending him flying.  Barthy gripped the rickety little table for support.  He bowed deeply to me, a strangely genteel gesture.  “This be your lady, Will?”

     “Aye, meet me darling Ellie, sweetest lamb on the sea.”

     I smiled and said hello.  

     Barthy grinned back at me.  “Woo, --- a raging redheid, a good-sized lass too!  I hates those tiny stick females!  Gimme a nice handful o’ arse and I be a happy man!”

     Will laughed. “Never her arse, Barthy!" 

     Barty snorted.  “Snails, I be fooling.  Sit you down on your binnacle, Will. You and your lady have a tot o’ rum on me.”

     Will pulled up a seat for me and himself.  “I thanks you, Barthy.  I be parched.” 

     Barthy poured coarse rum for us that seared my nose and mouth, then burned a path to my stomach where it sat like a glowing fire.  Will patted my back absently as I coughed and cleared my throat.  

     Barthy leaned over the table.  “Be you looking for men, Will?  Me last cap’n, Dun Halley…  Half the crew went down in the drink with him.  God rest his fishy old soul.”  

     Will took off his hat, held it over his heart.  “I be sorry to hear it.  But, iffin you’d sign me articles I be most pleased, Barthy.  I always needs experienced hands and old friends be high valued.”

     Barthy snuffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.  “’T is mighty good o’ you, Will, seeing as I be nay as young as most.”

     “Avast now, me bravo!  You comes back to the Sea Wife tonight!”

     “You be a brick, Will, s’ truth, a rare cove!”

     With Barthy we roamed the Port Royal dens of inequity.  It seemed about every fifth place was a tavern, a brothel or gaming house, some with very clever names. We stopped at The Whore’s Lantern, The Vile Virgin and The Ruddy Hog.  We ended up at The Captain’s Folly, which was made of bright blue and yellow boards.  It’s owner Mad Maybelle Mapes, a buxom jade wearing a stained gown, yelped with joy when she saw Will, throwing her arms in the air, jumping at him, winding her plump, black stockinged legs around his waist.  Will grabbed her to keep her from falling and grinned, whispering something in her ear.  She laughed hugely; putting both hands on his cheeks, she kissed him deeply and gave him a bottle of rum and glasses.  

     Will was making his way toward our table when he spun around as a man clapped a heavy hand on his shoulder.  Will’s eyes gleamed at a pale, thin man.  “Ichabod Corvo, you traitorous wharf rat, still sneaking around the Caribbe...”

     “I been looking for clues to Morgan’s treasure, Burton.  There be a map.”  Icabod Corvo’s humorless grin was like the shrinking of a corpse’s teeth from his skull.  His yellow hair hung in a greasy hank over his forehead and his icy blue eyes rolled like marbles. 

     “About that map, Corvo…  Natcherly, Lelee Sadill dinna trusted you with it seeing as you tried to kill him.  You bloody crimp, you ought to be pickled in brine!  I had nay love for Sadill, but traitors curdles me wame and poison be a cowardly weapon for a man!  Be you a weakling or just plain dum-strum?”

     Corvo pushed Will backwards, and pulling a dagger from his belt, slashed at him.  Will jumped back and I knocked into Barthy Bottles.  Then, Will’s rapier was out.  “Taste me steel, maggot!,” he yelled.

     Barthy and me pressed ourselves to the wall.  Will fought with wild vigor and the feline grace that always characterized him.  Another man came into it.  He was much smaller than me, indeed, small enough to duck easily under Will’s arm.  He wore a floppy hat jammed on his head and was dressed entirely in brown leather, even to his bucket boots.  He was a marvelous swordsman.  I’d never seen anybody move so fast.  He gave Corvo a cut across his cheek and one on his forearm, the wounds dripping blood. My eyes were so staring that they hurt and felt dry, my heart hammering as if it would come through my chest.  Will snarled and pinned Corvo, bending him over a table.  

     The small man grabbed a fistful of Corvo’s hair, his sword at his throat.  “Yield or die!,” he growled.

     Corvo’s wet mouth gaped.  “I yields!"

      

Sin City Jamaica - Pirate Paradise . . : : Documentary : : . .

The Dollar Sign [$] And Pieces Of Eight...

... Greenbacks, lettuce, geldt, bread, bucks, stash, moolah, --- ***MONEY-HONEY***, a.k.a. --- DOLLARS...  Did you know that the dollar sign [$] is actually a corruption of an 8, that, of course, meant "pieces of eight", the standard currency of almost anywhere in the world in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, and in the United States up to about 1857?  Yes, yes...

The phase "two bits" came from the time when silver pesos were cuts into eight equal pieces.  Two bits was two eights, --- a QUARTER dollar.  Pieces of eight were made for about three hundred years in Mexico, Peru and Columbia.  They were de rigeur in England and in the Colonies and valued at four shillings, six pense.   

Gold was used for Spanish escudos, which were once the same value as pieces of eight.  Golden doubloons were worth eight dollars.  Before the Spanish started taking huge amounts of silver from a mountain in Potosi, which is today in Bolivia, silver had almost the same value as gold.  But, such a lot of silver was taken from Potosi that it dropped the Worldwide value of silver, till it's worth about 1/15 of what gold is today. 

Gold is very soft so that gold coins where likely to be scraped or chipped to get a bit extra from them before they were used in transactions...  So, soon enough, someone thought of minting them with milled edges, even silver coins, to discourage this practice...  Shame, shame...  So naughty, to scrape those coins!  ;)  

    

Pirates of the Caribbean - Extras - Captain Teague

The Most Amusing Pirates In The Movies, In My Estimation...

   

1.  Hector Barbossa -  Just love the way he talks:  "Brace the yards, ye cat headed japes!  Dying is a good day for living!  More speed!  Haul your wind and hold your water!"  "Seems you has to be lost to find the place you're looking for!  Let her run straight and true!"...  Yes, the wicked, eloquent Barbossa is my favorite character in "P.O.T. C." movies.  I admire his style.  He's proved himself a true survivor.  He's not young, but he's tough as they come.  He survived the Aztec curse and being killed, shot by Jack Sparrow.  He came back by the magic of Tia Dalma.  He's a green apple eating nightmare to decent citizens and a great sailor too!...  Besides, he's much like the Pirate Lord Of Singapore, Sao Fang, but, naturally, he has "a merciful nature, and sense of fair play."  Um-HUM...  REALLY???  

2.  Captain Peter Blood - Played by the athletic & gorgeous Errol Flynn, he  was a former gentleman, a doctor; he strode the decks with power, looking like a sea panther.  What damsel wouldn't want to be rescued, --- or ravished by him?

3.  Jack Sparrow - Darling Jack, played by the incomparable Johnny Depp, is a fox, unpredictable, but still, a pirate-and-a-good-man.  What's not to love???  But, fancy flashpackets, Scarlet and Giselle, from Port Royal, can NEVER resist slugging him.                                                                                                                   

4.  Captain Hook - Yeah, I liked him in the animated Disney flick when he truly did look like he was patterned after King Charles II of England.  BUT, I liked him even better in "Neverland", a mini series, when he was played by a very sexy Rhys Ifans.   

5.  Bonny - (from the mini series, "Neverland")  She was evil-to-the-core.  No one would be foolish enough to trust her.  BUT, she was beautiful, seductive, strong and stunning, and, --- hmmm...  She smoked a clay pipe!  She got her just desserts.  Too, too bad.  She was a great villainess.  :( 

6.  Long John Silver - He probably shouldn't be so far down the list...  Oh, well.  I liked him best played by Robert Newton, who was born in Dorset, England and died in the mid '50s.  ARRGH!...  He was great, crazed, popping eyes, growling, gravely voice and all.  Charlton Heston also played wonderfully and very realistically as Long John.

7.  Morgan Adams -  Played by tall and spectacular Geena Davis in "Cutthroat Island".  No doubt she did many of her own stunts.  I loved some of the lines in this movie ---  Morgan, after sleeping with an official of Port Royal:, when he points a pistol at her:  "You are heartless, Lieutenant, but that won't work."  She grins and tosses some musket balls in the air and catches them.  "By the way, I took your balls!"  She leaves quickly, as her monkey, King Charles, jumps on her shoulder.  (Oh, kill me with sexual innuendo! :D )  And, more...  "There's no water in Adam's blood!"  "Say something Latin-ish!"  "Bad Dawg!", --- when Morgan ingnites a cannon aimed at the dastardly villain and her uncle, Dawg Brown.  "Down the throat to the belly of gold, guarded by those who never grown old", --- directions to the treasure; it's guarded by skeleton's skulls.  "Cutthroat Island" also has one of the best movie scores ever created (by John Debney), featuring the thrilling "Morgan's ride", when Morgan, riding bareback on a beautiful horse, charges through the Jamaican sand and surf at sunset.  

5.  Blackbeard, in "Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides":  Played with verve and style by Ian Mc Shane, he had some terrific lines, didn't he?  ---"Gentlemen, I be placed in a bewilderment.  There I were resting..."  "The answer is much simpler.  I'm a bad man."  "All Latin blood, like her mother!"  --- When Blackbeard aims and fires pistols at her, after there are 6 pistols, but only 2 of them are loaded --- Angelica: "You knew which pistols were loaded, right, Father?"  Blackbeard: "Of course, of course, my dear..."

6. Ragetti & Pintel:  These two deckhands of the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" movies are hilarious and - lovable.  They have some great lines: "Hello, Poppet!"--- "Stupid fish!...  Ragetti: It's a cephlopod, actually." (Have you noticed that Ragetti is quite intelligent?) --- "You know you can't read!...  Ragetti: "It's the Bible.  You get credit for trying!" --- "He must have seen a catfish!" --- When the terrier, who is really Jack Sparrow's dad's dog, jumps out of the boat to swim to shore. ---  "Let's drop a cannonball on one of them!...  Pintel: "Be disrespectful, it would."

7.  Captain Jackson Edward Teague:  Played by the vintage rocker of the Rolling Stones, Keith Richards who, I think, is probably one of those people, like Johnny Depp, who is just as entertaining in real life as he is on the screen.  Yes, yes...  :D  We all know that Captain Teague is Jack Sparrow's dad and that he's the very strict keeper of the pirate's code written by Morgan (Captain Henry Morgan) & Bartholomew (Bartholomew Roberts, a.k.a "Black Bart".,  You very well might be shot if you disagree with it!)  Captain Teague is a bit of an aristocrat and he looks it.  He is the Pirate Lord Of Madagascar.  (I will be doing a post about Captain Teague's exciting life and adventures in the future.)

25 great captain jack sparrow quotes

Pirate Capt Kidd's 'treasure' found in Madagascar

The Medicinal & Practical Uses of Tea...

                 

     Yep...  Just regular tea that you can buy at any store.  (It's so cheap and easy to get!  Frankly, most people have it in the house.)  Tea is an herb and it's acidic, having tannic acid, which makes it an effective antiseptic.  (Germs grow best in a neutral environment.  Of course, they don't do well in acid, like vinegar or tea, or in alkalai, such as bleach.)  Tea also draws infection to the surface of a wound, --- a very, very good thing!...

     Use tea medically for:

     --- Disinfecting and cleaning a wound.  This is very good to know if you run out of your regular disinfectant.  Just brew up some tea and clean the wound with it.  No rinsing needed.  Get a baby bulb (one of those things that moms use to suck the gook out of a baby's snotty nose) and squint the tea forcefully and directly into the wound, --- great for messy, dirty wounds.  This is called flushing; use lots of times per day for a nasty, infected wound.  Warm tea is especially good to use on animal wounds because it's non-toxic.  If the animal licks it no harm done.  I've used warm tea to flush plenty of wounds and sores on cats and dogs.  Tea doesn't sting as much as regular antiseptics either.  In fact, I think it hardly stings at all!

     --- If you have a sore throat or a stubborn cold.  Gargle, gargle, gargle with tea, --- many times per day.  It's difficult for germs to take hold in your throat when they are constantly being bombarded with very warm to hot acidic liquid, if you can stand the hot. Don't scald your throat!

     --- Have a toothache?  Sure, sure, see a dentist, BUT, in the meantime...  Get a tea bag, pour boiling water over it and let it cool to very warm.  Ring the bag out a little and put it right on that sore tooth.  The tea bag will disinfect the area, of course, and also, draw any infection to the surface of your gums.  It will also feel good, probably.  Use warm tea on the gums of a baby who's teething.

     --- On your feet all day?  Soak your feet in a basin of warm tea.

     Use tea also for:

     --- Cleaning counters, bathrooms, again, --- no rinsing needed.  Tea is really good to use to clean your floors if you have children or animals.  You don't have to worry about the little critters getting poisoned by it, like they might by chemical cleansers.  I always use tea to clean my wood floors.  Clean windows and mirrors with it.  Wash your car in tea, especially good for the wheels and the inside.

     ---  Do you have dark hair?  Rinse it in tea.  Tea will restore the acid mantle of your hair.  But, I wouldn't use tea if your hair is very dry, or very blond.  It's a great rinse for oily hair.

     --- Everybody knows you can dye fabric in tea, right?  It put a lovely, soft beige color on linens.

     --- Don't feel like washing the dog, --- or even the cat, or the calf, or the pot-bellied pig, or even the rascally parrot?  Get a bowl of warm tea and a rag and wipe your pet with it.  (Again, no rinsing needed and the tea will deodorize the critter's fur.)  I used warm tea to clean Cinnamon's muddy paws just recently.

     Of course, --- you could actually DRINK it!  Make Long Island Iced Tea:  A quart of tea, the juice of one lemon or lime, or 1/4 cup bottled lemon or line juice, whiskey, brandy, and/or sugar to taste.  Add some crushed mint sprigs; a cup of cranberry juice or raspberry juice, or even a bit of cherry or apricot brandy, if you like...  OH, YUMMY, YUMMY!!!...  Yeah, yeah, --- let me make some popcorn with lots of butter, put my feet up, put a great movie in the dvd player, and thoroughly enjoy this!!!...  :D

   

Errol Flynn - Captain Blood

A MERMAIDS TALE

Long John Silver excerpt

01. John Debney - CutThroat Island- Main Title and Morgan's Ride

Piratespeak, --- Their Unique Way Of Talking...

                         

     Some pirates spoke better English than others and, of course, their speech was colored by the time in which they lived, but I just love the quirky and colorful way they talked!  Sometimes they used very ornate speech because I think they thought that was elegant and refined...

     Hector Barbossa:  "I be disinclined to acquiesce to your request, Missy, --- means no."

     Pintel:  "It's macabre; it is."

     Or, those pirates who were just plain so beautifully forward in their speech that it stuck in history like a sort of glue ---

     Edward Teach, who we all know as Blackbeard, as recorded in Charles Johnson's "A General History Of The Robberies & Murders Of The Most Notorious Pirates":   "Damn you for villains, who are you?...  Damnation seize my soul, if I give you any quarter of take any from you!"

     Bartholomew Roberts:  "Damnation to anyone who would wear a halter!"

     Sam Bellamy:  "Damn you for a pack of crafty rascals, and them who serve you for a parcel of hen-hearted numbskulls!"

    I positively love this ( :D ) from Rafael Sabatini's novel "Captain Blood":  "That pimple, James..."

     Actually, so many pirates were of English origins and from port cities such as London or Bristol that their accent was like people from, the stews, or the harshest part of those cities.  (Blackbeard, Edward Teach, was from Bristol.)

     Here's some delightful bits of low English piratespeak ---

     ---  Maybe it be time fer an acksie-dent to be 'appenin' ta 'im.
     ---  Makes me spine jump like a porpoise.
     ---  Pray, might I prevail upon ye to accept me 'ospitality.
     ---  The cap'n ain't one ta run afoul o'.  Iffin he be nay be 'ungry, he be thirsty.  I best be gettin' ta rum.
     ---  Shut yer scuppers, get out o' me bloomin' way!
     ---  That be mighty 'andsome o' ye, mighty 'andsome!  Me hearty thanks!
     ---   I ought ta pickle ye in brine!
     ---  I dinna like strangers comin' onboard sudden-like.
     ---  What blasphemy be ye spoutin' now?
     ---  I took 'is treasure an' gave 'im the point o' me cutlass.
     ---  The creak o' ta timbers, the lap o' ta waves, --- that be music, mates!
     ---  Ye be dancin' a jig on air afore ta day breaks.
     ---  Silence a 'tween ta decks!
     ---  What name be ye called by?
     ---  Be double quick 'bout it, now!
     ---  We got ta blackhearted double crosser dead ta rights!
     ---  Ta evil wretch slipped 'his cable for good an' all.
     ---  Iffin ye nay deigns ta dine wi' us ye be tastin' our steel.
    ---  Ah, ta sound o' doubloons ringin' in me pocket be fine music!
    ---  I might just be liable ta let ye be.
    ---  Ye shaggy sea bugs!
    ---  Let 'im be scratched a by a little cat, boys!  (A cat of nine tail, a flogger, or whip of nine braided ropes with knots or even little metal balls at the ends)
   ---   Haul yer wind and hold yer water!
   ---   N'er spit upwind.  'T will come back in yer face.  Always spit downwind, tat hawker be sailin' like a gull!
   ---   Sit ye down on yer binnacle.
   ---  Dinna worry about being tossed to the sharks.  They could nay get a decent meal off ye.
   ---  Ye be young and spry, but I be old and sneaky an' I could outsmart ye in a dingley minute, so mind yerself right smart, ye nasty little weed!
   ---  Ye weensy treasure snipes, I be keelhaulin' ye next!
   ---  The cat has kittened in me mouth!
   ---  She be a right fancy  flashpacket, a pearl o' woman-ware, but she be poxin' ye, sure.
   ---  Hemp be a rope and a mate can die o' "hemp fever", hanging sorrowful at Execution Dock.
   ---  Pour me a gulper.  Will ye, Mate?  I be as dry as a piece o' hardtack.
 
     

Fox V. S. Wolf, --- Jack Sparrow V. S. Blackbeard, & Femme Fatale, Angelica & A Bit More ("Pirates Of The Caribbean, #4: On Stranger Tides")...

               

     I though both Johnny Depp and Ian Mc Shane, as Blackbeard played beautifully.  Of course, I like Penelope Cruz; she's always good...

     Did you know that plot of the movie, "P. O. T. C : On Stranger Tides", was taken from a very interesting historical fantasy novel by Tim Powers, published in 1987?...  Yes...  That novel was nominated for the World Fantasy Award for Best Novel and it placed second in an annual Focus poll for best fantasy novel.

     In historical reality Blackbeard was certainly a character...  Did you know that his pirating career lasted only about two years.  Yep...  Like "Black Bart', a.k.a, Bartholomew Roberts, once famously said, - "It's a short life and a merry one!"  Well, how "merry" I really don't know.  Pirates sure did a lot of merrymaking in Port Royal, where about every fifth building was a tavern, gaming house or a brothel, and which one preacher called "The Sodom Of The New World". (I think Port Royal's inhabitants and visiting pirates were sort of proud of that label because it stuck.)

     In "On Stranger Tides" Blackbeard is an evil devil who sails in a fiery ship with zombie officers.  (Supposedly, zombies were made by poisoning people with a very wicked and repulsive potion partly made from the dust of dried up puffer fish, (yuck!) --- supposedly.  :(  )  Blackbeard, Ian Mc Shane, has some great lines in this movie ---  "The truth is far simpler...  I am A BAD MAN.  And, --- "If I don't KILL one of them now and then they FORGET who I AM!"  Really, Blackbeard did say that when he shot his first mate Israel Hands in the knee, from under a table, and for no good reason at all, crippling the man for life.  (Yes, in spite of his wildness, or maybe because of it, Blackbeard is my FAVORITE pirate.)

     I always love Jack Sparrow.  He seems an  ineffectual pirate at first; until you realize that his fake drunken mumbling and swaying are part of the con.  Jack lives by his wits.  You have the feeling that he'll never, EVER be hung, that he'll fit himself, somehow, into the changing world of the eighteenth century, when governments will no longer tolerate pirating.  Jack might end up an official; I wouldn't put it past him.  I wouldn't put any scheming past him, actually...  ;)